


Words Ain't Enough

by Athazagoraphobica



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, One Night Stands, One-Sided Relationship, Other, Redemption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-10 02:54:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20520782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Athazagoraphobica/pseuds/Athazagoraphobica
Summary: The Apprentice and Julian have always been enamored with each other since they could possibly remember. When Julian smothers the apprentice with love and disappears the same night, they go looking for him, which might as well be the biggest mistake of their life.For my feral Arcana group chat! Love y'all





	1. You're Fire, You're Proud

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to my friends Riley and Sheyene from my Arcana group chat because they encouraged me to write this as I have been sitting alone waiting for my teacher for an hour and I had time to waste. My friend Jade gets their own fic cause I don't want them to cry.

* * *

"You're fire, you're proud

But you're cold when it counts..."

* * *

It was quiet on that street. A gentle breeze tickled the faces of many, and the temperature outside was warm enough to have your window open and cold enough to not have any means of temperature control.

Julian Devorak sat around with his partner in their bed, looking out the window that was open to let in light. The breeze swayed the thin curtains. He inhaled, smelling freshly baked bread, fruits and vegetables, herbs, and the scent of his significant other next to him.

He lies down next to them, looking at their face that was soft and unnaturally squishy. He took his callused hand and ran his fingers against their face, feeling their cheeks, their jaw, before placing his thumb on their lips, smiling gently.

They wake up, looking back at Julian before greeting him a good morning.

"Good morning to you too, sleepyhead. You look marvelous in this morning light," Julian says, taking his hand off their face and placing back on their cheek.

"Julian, baby, don't forget we have plans today, it's our anniversary, after all," they said, their hand coming up to touch Julian's large hand.

"Oh, right," he faltered. "I am, ah, so tired, I must have forgotten. I'm sorry, dear." His lover frowns.

"Julian, I'm surprised you've forgotten, it's been 2 years, surely you wouldn't forget." Julian sits up and looks away. "I... I simply forgot, dear. You, of all people should understand. You always forget your spells and forget to charge those crystals of yours all the time."

The apprentice, now visibly upset, sits up and crawls across the bed to him. They touch his arm, and Julian shudders out of guilt.

"Ilya, this is different. I have to remember to do so much while also holding up shop. This is just one thing. Portia says--" Julian turns to them, cutting them off with an angry snarl. "Don't listen to Pasha. She's gotten a crush with some guard and she's been delirious ever since. Please, the matter isn't important."

His lover, holds back tears, and gets up to leave the bedroom. They stare at the man, back turned towards them and a tear falls down their face.

"Breakfast will be done in 10 minutes." Julian doesn't reply, and the apprentice turns to leave.


	2. Pressing My Luck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Apprentice wakes up from a nightmare and sees that Julian isn't home. They go looking for him where they usually find him.

* * *

"You want me, you say

But then you turn away

And I'm pressing my luck..."

* * *

The warmth outside didn't last forever. It was colder now, but warm enough to not need a coat. Even so, the apprentice wakes up with beads of sweat covering their face.

They look around them, understanding that their surroundings are real. They have had a nightmare. They turn to Julian's side of the bed, ready to wake him up for comfort despite their fight that morning, but alas, Julian wasn't there.

The apprentice panics, running out of the bed to put on clothes, thinking that their love had abandoned them out of anger. 

They run out the door on their way to the tavern they frequent, thinking that he was drinking the most potent liquor they had and complaining to the bartender.

Perhaps they assume his disappearance was because of them.

From a distance, Julian sees his lover run down the street disheveled. He stops mid-walk and looks at them. A voice calls out to him, and he continues walking.

Now at the tavern, the apprentice confronts the bartender, frantically asking if they knew of Julian's whereabouts.

"Well, he was walking home with a young lass," they said, cleaning a wine glass. "Saw them go down the street to the left."

The apprentice smiles and gives the bartender a large tip. "Thank you," they say, running back out the door in his last reported path.

They assume he's with Portia and that he's alright. Walking home, they reassure themselves as such.

Julian's lover is home, throwing their bag on a sofa and walking upstairs to the bathroom before hearing a crash in the couple's room. Assuming it is an intruder, they grab a broom and ready themselves to swing.

They swiftly open the door, and he sees Julian, sitting on their bed with a pink-haired lady in between his legs, crouching in front of him. Julian is groaning and he tugs on the lady's hair, prompting her to giggle as her he's bobs up and down.

The apprentice is appalled. They cover their ears and collapse on the floor, sobbing.

"Julian," the apprentice says. "How could you do this to me?" Julian gasps and turns around to his paramour. "A-Ah, dear, please, it's not what you think!" He shoved the girl in front of him away from him, frantically buttoning his pants and sweating.

"Jules," the lady says, pushing her hair back behind her ear. "Who's this?" Julian gulps, panicking. "Melodia," he starts. "This is my lover, engaged to be wed." He looks down, ashamed.

"Julian," the apprentice whispers. "We need to talk. 'Melodia,' leave my house now, or I'll call the authorities."

Melodia shrugs, leaving the room before stopping at the door. "Excuse me?" The apprentice looks at her.

"That man you're with... You shouldn't marry him. I didn't know he was with someone in the first place." The girl turns back around, and walks downstairs. The apprentice hears the door shut, and cries.


	3. Pieces Of You

* * *

"Cut me up into

Pieces easy to chew

Carve me up into

Someone you'd like to choose

Til' I'm only pieces of you

So,

You can say you love me but

Words ain't enough."

* * *

The apprentice paced left and right, yelling at Julian for what he had done. Tears had already welled up in their eyes, dripping down like an overflowing teacup. Their actions screamed anger and disappointment, but their eyes yelled sadness and regret. Their hands were clenched so hard that their nails left imprints in their soft skin. Julian continued looking down, tears forming in his eyes stinging them like acid.

"It was our anniversary, and you decide to sleep with some other girl after getting in a petty argument with me about not remembering a fucking date. Julian, I was just worried about you. Seeing you literally betray me like this is appalling and I don't understand what you would have expected me to do. I can't believe you right now." Julian blinks, tears falling off of his eyelashes. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He hugged his body as if he were in pain.

"We wouldn't be having this argument had you just told me what was wrong or just calmly stated that you just didn't want to talk about it. I gave up so much for you, Julian. I was going to take your name. I was going to start a family with you, Julian. Earlier, when you disappeared, you left a tarot card on your side of the bed. It was the hanged man." Julian finally speaks up, voice quivering. "What does that mean?" The apprentice whispers, voice low and heavy. "It was reversed when I had picked it up. It means unwilling of change." Julian sits, silently.

"Julian, I think it's time."

Julian looks up, eyes wide and bloodshot from crying. "N-no, please," he stutters. "Please don't leave me, I'll do anything for you, anything. Please, I love you."

The apprentice frowns painfully. "That's not enough, Julian. At least not for me." They have stopped crying and their tears were matted onto their face. "Julian, do you know what an upright hanged man means?"

Julian shakes his head, eyes staring at the card they had in their hand.

They flip it over, showing an upright hanged man. "It means that one should let go."

Julian's love lets go of the card, dropping it to the wooden floor before walking out of the house and onto the streets, bound to go back to their building they owned with their mentor, Asra. They wanted to disappear fro Julian's life, to start all over again with someone anew. They wanted a love that understood them and protected them and respected them. So when they walked out the front door, they erased themselves from Julian's memory, and he never remembered them again.

* * *

At Asra's store, Asra was teaching the apprentice palmistry. Asra traced over lines with his finger, and with the apprentice's open hand, they took notes. Asra looked at their notebook, seeing a paper sticking out the side.

"Hey, you should put that paper back inside your notebook, it might fall out and get lost," he said, smiling gently. The apprentice slid it back in, smiling back at them.

A couple of hours later, Asra told his disciple to lock the doors and extinguish the candles specifically for lighting. He walked upstairs into his room, as the apprentice extinguished the vanilla candles that Asra found so charming. They lit a spiritual candle in front of a window that faced the moon as the apprentice took out the paper from their notebook. They took herbs and flowers and crystals and weaved them all into a wreath to put on their shop door. They set a spell on it and cleared the room of bad omens before placing it on their door. They went back inside, locking the doors and going upstairs into their own room. They decided to write someone a special letter.

* * *

Dear recipient,

Although I will not disclose my name due to privacy reasons, I have known you for quite some time. Although, with how much time has gone by since we've seen each other, I suppose I should at least try and reach out to you.

Yes, I do remember you so, and with every bone in my body do I miss you. People change over time, of course. I trust you've been well?

Understandingly, asking such personal questions when you don't remember me might be too much for you. I understand that. I just have been willing to ask you a question, and I truly hope you accept.

No, this is not something to be afraid of, I am as human as you are. I do not resort to ransom. I do not ask for much.

Me? I am the famed apprentice of one of your old associates, Asra.

If you can, please come to our store and as you wait for me, you shop our wares, and I'll prepare your welcoming gift.

I'll come out from behind that silk curtain of ours and you'll step in,

And I'll give you back your memory of me, my dearest Julian Devorak.

Please, consider this offer, for the love I know you're feeling for an unknown person is mutual for me too. My tarots say as much.

I have seen you grow, Ilya. I miss you. Do you miss me too?

I am willing to hand you another chance.

I know you've changed, for the better, as my tarot deck and it's major and minor arcana cards do not lie to me.

Please come back.

I love you.

Sincerely,

The Apprentice of Asra Alnazar

* * *

End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! My teacher ended up not showing up at all and now I have to send emails out complaining. Anyway, I hope people like this quick read, and I'll probably be back to write something else later!


End file.
